Why People Stay in Toxic Relationships ?

I have never been in a toxic relationship. The closest I’ve come is seeing people around me who are in one. Whenever I see it, my first thought is, “Why are they doing this to themselves?” The other person causes them pain, but why do they put up with it? Don’t they realise that something’s wrong? Do they enjoy being disrespected by the other person? I have a lot of questions, but after a lot of thinking, I realised the main factors that contribute to a toxic relationship, and I want to share them with you. But first, what exactly is a toxic relationship?

Toxic relationships can be very difficult to understand. It’s hard to know when to stay or go, because the relationship keeps going on and off, on and off. It’s also called a “love-hate” relationship, one of the cruelest things someone can put you through. Being in the middle makes you feel like you’re walking on eggshells or constantly on guard. It can consume all your energy trying to figure things out, and the situation can feel so burdensome that it can be emotionally draining.

 This relationship could take many forms: maybe it’s with a family member, a spouse, a child, or maybe even a boss. I’m talking about all the relationships that exist in our society. I think the key to knowing if you’re in a toxic relationship is whether they can provide you with security. If someone can’t provide that for you, then you’re probably dealing with a toxic relationship, and you should think about getting out of it. Toxic relationships are very dangerous and detrimental to our mental health.

But the next question comes to mine and your mind would be why? Why do they stay in such a relationship? Don’t they know they are suffering? What are they waiting for? What is the state of mind behind it? It’s time to decode it.

Let me decode it for you so you can finally understand.

When people have a fear of being alone it can be very dangerous. They might feel that way to the point where they are afraid to be alone, afraid to live alone, that when they get hurt they will stay in the relationship so they don’t have to be alone. However, they might also be afraid of loneliness so much that they stay even when there is abuse and violence because they fear that being alone is far worse than being in the dangerous relationship. The person who fears being alone the most is often the one who ends up being hurt.

The only constant thing in the world is change. Nothing stays the same. People change as well. The thing is, when you form an emotional connection with someone, it can be difficult to let go if you want to get away from them. The thought of going through a tough time can lead you to believe that you can change your partner, but that’s your biggest mistake. Nobody can change anyone. They can only change themselves, and if they wanted to do that, they would have already done it a long time ago.

We deserve to be valued. Low self-worth can lead to disrespect. If you don’t value yourself, others won’t either. Self-esteem means valuing your abilities. If someone disrespects you, and you stay, you likely have low self-worth. You might stay because you think it’s the best you can do. It happens. Respect yourself, and you will be respected. Once you gain self-respect, no one can take advantage of you. You are valuable. Don’t let others diminish you. You build your worth, so realize this now.

When you are dependent on someone and fails to live up to your standards, it can be very difficult to end the relationship. This is true even when the relationship is very painful or stressful. For example, if you rely on your boss for income, but you don’t like your boss’s attitude or you disagree with their management techniques, it can be tough to quit, even if you’re unhappy.

Manipulation is a serious thing, and can easily trap someone into doing what they don’t want to do. They can feel so trapped, that they can’t figure out how to escape. They may also know that they are in pain, yet they think everything is fine, and if it isn’t, it can be fine. It can be tough to work things out, but there is no point in forcing yourself to think the situation is alright, especially if it isn’t. Some people can be easily manipulated, but words without action aren’t worth anything. So, my advice to you is to stop just talking, and take action.

Society’s opinions, whether conscious or subconscious, are a big factor in keeping us all in toxic relationships. Think about the people you know or have heard of that stay in toxic relationships. What is keeping them there? Why can’t they leave? Sometimes, it can be pressure from family, friends, or even strangers. Other times, it can be pressure from the person themselves. After being together for a certain period, it can be hard to leave a toxic relationship, even if you know that you should.

These are my observations on why people stay in toxic relationships. 

You must have seen people with awesome personalities who are still stuck in toxic relationships. I feel bad for them, because it’s like a bad relationship takes years of your life, and sometimes you have no idea why they choose to stay with someone who is bad for them. I have seen some people waste so much time and mental energy on the wrong person, only for things to get worse. 

I’m not saying you should leave every person who disturbs your peace, but just giving you some advice: Realise what’s happening around you and to you. What if it was happening to your loved ones? Would you still give them the same advice? If you were to ask a professional counsellor the same question, what would they say? Maybe this line of thought can answer some of your questions. 

The advice we give to others is often the advice we need the most. Listen to your advice when you are giving it to others. Realise that you are worth more than whatever you might be in right now. You deserve better. Demand security and peace from the person you are with, or from any person you want to be with. 

I sincerely hope you have understood why people remain in relationships that have become unhealthy, or toxic, and I hope that if anyone around you is in this unfortunate situation or if you, yourself, are suffering from any such thing, you can soon extricate yourself from it and quickly find yourself in a good place and a healthy relationship.