We humans have experienced this: we love someone, make friends, try our best to make them happy, appreciate them, love them, value them, do everything possible, and try to make things possible which seem very difficult and out of the box.
But after doing all this, do you ever feel alone?
I have experienced this many times. I gave my whole heart to these connections, only to feel isolated in the end. Reflecting on the immense time and energy I invested, I often found myself questioning whether those efforts were truly wasted.
And I’m sure I’m not alone in wondering this when these things happen. What do you think about this when these things happen?
I don’t get it. Why do we put so much effort into relationships? When we are in love with or with the person we love, admire, and don’t want to leave, we genuinely make efforts without even thinking twice. We’re not thinking practically when helping, valuing, and appreciating others. It’s a good thing to do, something humans were supposed to be like. We all have hearts, and according to me, if you’re doing something for someone else, it should be done with pure heart and intentions, without any expectations.
The thing is, after keeping it pure and loveable, why do things always go against the grain? Why is it the person who does their best is always the one left behind and alone?
Reciprocal appreciation is essential in relationships. Since empathy cannot be taught to those who operate on cold, pragmatic calculation, you should prioritise your self-worth over those who fail to value your devotion. Never compromise your integrity for someone who disrespects you; instead, recognise your own value and withdraw from those who don’t deserve your heart.
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So, was this all a time waste?
I don’t think it’s fair to call this a waste of time because this was something you wanted at the time, and many of you had manifested. In other words, even though it didn’t work out and was not in your favour, you should appreciate it, mark it, and always learn from what hurt you. For instance, after leaving these people who didn’t act right, you should be more aware of who you spend time with.
Reframing the Past as a Lesson
I choose not to dwell on the past; it is behind me now. However, I can certainly learn from it. By applying these lessons to my present, I am empowered to make better choices moving forward.
This experience has been a profound teacher. It reminded me that life does not always unfold according to our plans—and that is perfectly okay. When expectations go unmet, it does not mean the time spent was wasted. In fact, what I initially perceived as a disappointment was actually a blessing in disguise. While I may not have received what I wanted, I gained invaluable wisdom that will undoubtedly enhance the quality of my life.
Life is a circle, and it is certain that when you leave the dirt and go toward a beautiful garden, a beautiful fragrance will come toward you. It is just that you were in the dirt, which you liked at the time, but now there are new fragrances and beautiful flowers all around, and you must choose carefully.
So this was not a waste of time but rather a lesson. As you outgrow the past, surround yourself with people who value, love, and appreciate you and teach you, and this way you will definitely grow.
It’s a given that people come and go, and they either give you fresh memories or trauma, so always be sure to pick your people carefully. Your time is precious, and you need it for other things besides crying over the people who left you.
Remember that no one here is ever truly alone. But at the same time, you are also alone, so choose well.
Some things I believe that I would like to share are: being a giver is a blessing. For the people you love, you should make every effort possible and treat this as the norm, not something special. And you should make every effort you can, but not so much that you can’t sustain it for your whole life.
It’s not a bad thing to go out of your way for others. I’d definitely like to hear from people who’ve gone out of their way for friends, family, partners, or other bonds in their lives. And I want to know: Do they even acknowledge these efforts? If not, then don’t make as much effort or just stop. That’s not a good relationship if they don’t recognise the value of your sacrifices. That’s just BS.
My sister once told me that I am the sun of my own universe. So, I need to value and love myself. I think if you treat yourself that way, other things will revolve around you as they should. And whatever efforts you make for others aren’t a waste of time. You made those choices with your whole heart, so you should appreciate them and acknowledge the fact that you did that for others. If the person on the receiving end doesn’t appreciate that effort, that’s on them. They were blind, not you. Don’t be blind to your own value.
I really, really do not want to work myself into the ground again. We all have limited energy. When you’re depleted, notice it and take a step back so you can regenerate. Keep doing what you do, but just be more aware. And choose your friends and allies wisely. I want to appreciate myself, other people, and everyone who’s ever put effort into caring for others. Doing that takes real courage. I think that’s an attribute most people lack.
None of those efforts were a waste of time. I look at the past as a repository for lessons and memories.
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