Guilt of Outgrowing Your People

What does this mean? It’s basically when a person grows up in their life, many of their old friends, relatives, and even their old selves are left behind. Sometimes there’s guilt for doing that, but I believe it’s totally worth it, even with the inevitable pain of losing loved ones, sometimes even those that have passed on. I believe that what we do with the time we have in life is up to us. People are always going to make a lot of mistakes, but our failures are also our teachers, and what we get out of them is up to us. 

Abandoning someone is often necessary, but can be sad sometimes. It is an unconscious decision but requires courage. We often feel a need to hold onto people we want to leave, but it is important to see the bigger picture. If someone isn’t ready to keep growing, they’ll drag you down and slow your progress. It is important to let people go when it is time. Being able to handle this situation requires a big and strong mindset, which not everyone has. Anyone who can’t or won’t grow should be left behind, as they will affect your growth if they stay.

Now the question is Why we feel guilty about it?

• When we are loyal and have an emotional attachment toward the other person, it can become very difficult to leave them. Like if you have a friend and it’s been years of friendship, and now you feel like stagnent and the atmosphere is not helping you grow, so you often search for a new friend circle or people who have a growth mindset. But while doing so, you would feel like you’re betraying your friend and causing emotional scars.
• Human nature inclines us to avoid harming others, especially our loved ones. While mistakes are inevitable, it is inherent in us to want to protect those around us. It is important to remember that you are also a person, deserving of love and happiness. There is no value in making sacrifices that do not ultimately enhance your well-being. It is not a lack of concern for others, but rather a recognition that you cannot consistently prioritize the needs of others over your own. While helping others is commendable, self-neglect can lead to burnout, rendering you unable to assist anyone. Self-care should be a priority, as it is not a selfish act. At times, it is necessary to place your own needs first. It is unrealistic to expect to satisfy everyone’s needs.
• The past that we have shared and the memories that we have created together won’t let us simply walk away from each other. These are things we cannot erase or unshare. It is a part of who we are and our past. If we’re being honest, it’s something we share with each other. The bond we’ve created and the time we’ve spent together means that our past will never allow us to forget each other. But again it is necessary to do so.
• We’re often told ending a friendship or relationship is wrong. But no one tells us it’s a normal part of life. Relationships end, both romantically and platonically. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad friend, partner, or person. It simply means people sometimes grow apart. That doesn’t make you a bad person. Sometimes, it’s time to let go. I know it can be hard, as the “not a good thing” narrative has been ingrained in us since we were young. But no one tells us that it’s a part of life.

The reality check

Not all friendships and relationships are meant to last forever. We cannot carry everything with us until we die. In life, some things leave a part of themselves with us. We can learn something from them, and then they go. It is best to allow people to go whenever they decide to. Holding onto them will do no good. Eventually, we need to leave and move on to what’s next. This is important.

Abandoning someone can sometimes be necessary, but it’s sad. However, it’s part of growing up. It can be hard to leave someone behind, but we have our own growth and responsibilities to fulfill, such as our parents’ and children’s needs.

Humans are constantly demanding change. Change is important. No one likes stagnation. It’s the nature of humans. Constant change keeps things fresh, new, and exciting. Stagnation is boring.

We all have shared memories that we can never forget. Instead of forgetting these memories, we should have gratitude toward them. It’s not important to forget the memories we have when we’re growing. It’s very unconscious, and the best thing we can do for our memories is to help if they’re interested.

Losing the people you love is a part of growing. Sometimes people will lose you when you grow because your friends don’t get your mindset and your goals. Be prepared to lose people you love. You’ll be left with people who love you for who you are and people who respect your mindset.

I’ve experienced being left by friends, and I’ve also left friendships myself. Initially, it hurt a lot, but I’ve come to realize that leaving a bad situation, whether it’s between two people or within a group, is essential for everyone’s well-being. It’s okay to move on, as long as you’re not abandoning someone in danger or leaving them to face extreme hardship.

Even then, if someone is consistently harmful or hurtful, it’s okay to leave their company. It’s important to prioritize yourself sometimes and not force a situation you know won’t work. How can you achieve your own goals if you’re constantly trying to help someone else achieve theirs? I’m happy I left the friends who were consistently negative. We’re all on better terms now, and we’ve grown so much since then.